Lost
by zebraboymom
Summary: Steve loses Catherine and can't forgive himself for her death. Kono steps in to help him. Steve/Kono pairing. Character death.
1. Chapter 1

Lost

Chapter One

Zebraboymom

Disclaimer: They do not belong to me. Cruddy buttons!

Author Notes: An angst piece about what happens when Steve looses Catherine. The whole team tries to help him, but ultimately it is Kono who helps him heal.

The funeral was on Saturday. Kono, Danny and Chin walked slowly up to the graveside and stood across the casket from Steve who was beside Catherine's mother. He had sunglasses in place, so it was hard to get a read on him. He stood ramrod straight. When they handed her mother the flag from the casket, he placed his hand lightly on her shoulder and squeezed. He knew the woman needed his strength. Kono watched him carefully. Who would lend strength to Steve? She wished she could stand on his other side and hold his hand. He raised his head as the rifles shot their salute. She never took her eyes off of him. Was he looking back at her? She couldn't tell with those damn sunglasses in place. She tried to silently communicate strength and support to him. When it was over, Steve helped Catherine's mother to her car and spoke to her for some time before he walked back to where the others waited for him.

"Uh…thanks for coming guys. I'm going to take a couple of days, so in the mean time Danny, you are in charge."

"You want to go get a beer man?"

No, but thanks again for coming. I…I'll see you soon. He shook hands with both men and then took Kono into a soft hug. She stroked her hands up and down his back trying to offer him some comfort. He leaned into her for a second and then pulled away. The three friends watched as he headed back to the grave. They left, but Kono couldn't help but turn back one last time to see him standing and staring at the coffin as they prepared to lower it into the ground. Part of her was jealous that a woman could capture Steve McGarrett's heart in such a way. She knew she had deep feelings for Steve, but didn't know how to express them. She longed to be loved so completely by a man. That man was Steve. He was everything she wanted. Could he ever love her? Would he ever recover from losing Catherine? She wished she knew. She dropped her head and a tear dropped into her lap for the man she loved. If she could, she would take away his pain.

It had been 6 days. Steve had been AWOL for six long days. Danny had gone to his house every day and pounded on the door demanding to be let in. He had finally broken in on the sixth day to find the place empty with beer cans and take out boxes scattered everywhere. Chin had tried tracking his cell, but nothing. It was turned off. The governor was getting more upset every day. She wanted them back to work on the case that had cost Catherine her life. She wanted to know how Steve could be so irresponsible. She was threatening to suspend him if he wasn't back on the case by tomorrow.

Kono left work early. She had an idea of his whereabouts, but she didn't want to tell the rest of the team in an effort to protect Steve. She thought about the last few weeks and how Catherine had been killed bringing Steve files that could ultimately bring down an illegal arms deal. The intel would probably lead them to capturing the guys if Steve would just come back to work and set up the operation. She had to do something to bring him back to reality before it was too late.

She made her way down to the beach later that night. She knew the camp well. Lots of surfers hung out there. She herself had spent some time there with an ex-boyfriend. She recognized his jeep parked near the edge of camp next to a shack she had shown him when they would surf. She had used it when she was on the circuit because it allowed her to get into the surf every morning first thing. She had kept it and would take Steve there when they surfed. They often sat there having a beer after surfing until their muscles ached. They had some great talks here. She just hoped he would open up to her tonight. Kono pushed aside the drape she kept over the opening and looked down on the bed where she could see him sleeping. The smell of alcohol was strong and she knew he had probably passed out drunk. She moved to stand over him. He was restless, probably having a bad dream. Kono went to lightly shake him when one hand closed around her throat and the other around her waist. He flipped her over him onto the bed and was immediately straddling her wrapping both hands around her throat. Kono tried to fight him off. She flailed and fought as hard as she could, but he was too strong. She could feel herself starting to black out when Steve suddenly let go.

"Kono?" 

She tried to speak, but couldn't. Her throat hurt too badly.

"Oh, God, Kono. I'm so sorry. Are you okay?'

She sat up and held her throat. It was hard to squeak out, but she managed finally.

"I forgot. It's not a good idea to wake up a Seal without announcing yourself."

Steve reached out gently and ran his thumb along her throat. Kono winced and Steve dropped his hand into his lap.

"You shouldn't have come here Kono."

"You've been gone for 6 days Steve. You told the governor you only needed a couple of days. Everybody is worried about you, especially me. The governor wants to move on the arms dealer before it's too late. You need to pull yourself together."

"I can't do it Kono. I just feel sick. I can't get the image out of my mind. What they did to her makes me sick. What I did to her. I should never have asked her to get involved. Now I'll never get to tell her…"

"You loved her." It was a statement.

"That's just it. I…I can't get past the guilt."

"Steve. She knew the dangers."

"Yeah, but she did it for me."

"She loved you."

His voice was a whisper.

"I didn't love her."

"What?"

He was silent.

"Talk to me Steve."

"I didn't love her."

It suddenly hit her like a ton of bricks. This was all because Catherine loved him enough to risk her life for him. She ultimately lost it for him and he didn't love her. It explained why he didn't want to rush to make things right. Why he didn't want to get the men who did this to her. He blamed himself more.


	2. Chapter 2

Lost

Chapter Two

Zebraboymom

Disclaimer: They do not belong to me. Curses!

Author Notes: Kono lends a hand and helps Steve to begin the road back…to work at least.

Kono took a deep breath and then decided the truth would be the best tactic in getting him back.

"Then you at least owe it to her to find the guys that did that to her and bring them in. Come on Steve, let's get you home and sober. Then we'll find them."

Steve nodded and stood up. When Kono climbed off the bed, he stopped her for a moment and placed his hand gently on her neck. He stroked her throat gently with his thumb.

"I'm so sorry, Kono. I hope you know I would never deliberately hurt you."

"It's okay. It's okay."

"About the way you found me…I…"

"Hey, I'm just giving you a ride home, okay?"

"Thanks."

"No problem. We take care of each other right?"

His answer was barely audible.

"Yeah."

Kono helped Steve walk. She had never seen him like this. Steve was always in control. He was the kind of guy that would never let himself get like this. She had to admit it had really shaken her. He was trying to punish himself. That was for sure. Kono slipped her arm around his waist to steady him and Steve draped his arm loosely across her shoulders and slumped into her as he tried to manage a straight walk to her jeep. It was a long drive back to Honolulu from the North Shore and he fell asleep after only a few miles. She could catch glimpses of his face in the moonlight that streamed over them as she drove him home. He was so handsome, but looking at his face she could see sadness. He lost his father and now he lost Catherine. She didn't know what that felt like. She did know about loss though. It had just about killed her when her surfing career came to an end. She thought nothing would have meaning anymore. Then she had been invited on this team and she had never been happier. Steve had given her hope again. She wanted to do the same for him, but how? She reached across the space between them to caress his cheek, but pulled her hand back. Now was not the time. Right now he needed sleep and he needed to get his head on straight. She would be there to help him. With new determination, she pressed her foot on the gas.

When they arrived at Steve's place, Kono made a mental note to have a couple of unis go and recover Steve's jeep and then reached over to gently rouse him. The instant she placed her hand on his shoulder he grabbed it in a fierce grip and she couldn't help but cry out in pain. Steve was fully awake then. His face again riddled with guilt.

"Kono…I…"

"It's okay. I need to learn my lesson."

Steve took her hand in his and rubbed his thumb over her wrist. Kono shivered, but tried not to wince. She didn't want to add more to his plate right now.

"Hey, I'm tougher than that you know. Now come on and let's get you inside and into bed."

Steve managed the porch steps okay and they were soon inside. His home was usually neat as a pen. Seal training she supposed. Danny had cleaned up the mess he left before he took off. Kono had never been in his bedroom and she was curious. It was just as she imagined. It was masculine, but neat and clean. He had soft natural fiber sheets on his bed. Kono sat him down on the edge and knelt down to untie his shoes. She heard his voice soft in the dark.

"I feel like an idiot. You shouldn't have to untie my shoes for me. I've been such a selfish prick. I…I'm sorry Kono. I promise you tomorrow I will be back at work and we will get the bastards that did this.

"Now that's the Steve I know and…"

"What?"

"Nothing. Lay down."

Kono lifted the covers and Steve slipped under them. She felt silly, but she tucked him in and patted his chest lightly as she turned to go. Steve reached out and captured her hand. His voice was again very soft and it was vulnerable in a way she had never heard until tonight.

"Kono, would…would you stay with me just until I go to sleep?"

She smiled softly at him in the moonlight spilling in from his window.

"Sure."

She sat down on top of the covers and leaned against his headboard. He took her totally by surprise when he placed his head in her lap and wrapped one arm across her legs. She could hear his breath getting softer and more even as he became drowsy. She thought this must be what he looked like when he was a little boy drifting off to sleep. She couldn't help herself. She ran her fingers gently through his hair soothing him. When she was sure he was gone, she tried to quietly extricate herself from his sleeping form. As she pulled away, he held her even tighter. She sighed. It was going to be a long night sleeping while sitting up. She knew things were going to be really awkward in the morning, but she would deal with it. Steve needed her and she was staying right here.

Several times that night, Steve woke from a nightmare only to have Kono soothe him with her words and her fingers stroking through his hair. No one had done anything like that since he was a little boy and his mom would sit with him before bedtime. He knew he loved this girl. She was like family to him and so selfless. He regretted hurting her earlier. He'd hurt her twice. What an idiot. His rule was you never hurt a woman physically and she was the one person he never wanted to hurt that way. He felt protective of her. How pathetic that he needed to protect her from him. His mind drifted again and he returned to sleep. This time he didn't have any more dreams. His last thoughts were of Kono and her care for him. She was so gentle and loving with him. It was what he had needed even though he hadn't wanted to admit it. He owed her big time.

Just before dawn Kono was able to slip out of Steve's embrace and leave. She called for his jeep to be brought home and headed to her own place to grab a quick shower and get ready for work. She had no idea how Steve was going to behave towards her, but she was glad she was able to slip away before he woke up. This would give him time to pull himself together before returning to work that morning. She relished the way the shower revived her. She was tired and it was going to be a long day. Note to self, don't sleep sitting up again if you can avoid it. She clipped on her badge, grabbed her gun and headed out, not sure what to expect when she got there. When she parked her jeep, she spotted his motorcycle. As she rode the elevator up she practiced what she would say and do. The others would have no idea what went down last night. The doors finally opened and she took a deep breath and stepped out into the tactical room they all shared. Steve was standing at the computer alone. Danny and Chin had not arrived yet.

Steve looked up and immediately smiled at her. It was a different smile than the usual one she remembered receiving from him in the morning. She felt like they had reached a new level of friendship last night. Apparently he felt the same way. He stepped from around the table and approached her shyly.

"Morning Kono."

"Morning Boss."

"Thanks again for all you did for me last night."

"Steve you can stop thanking me. You would have done the same for me."

"Maybe so, but you got me back on track."

He reached out and pulled her into an awkward hug. Kono relished the contact. She had been a bit afraid of how he might respond to her. This was a good sign. He looked down at her as they had a silent conversation. They both stepped back as the elevator doors opened and Danny swept into the room.

"Finally. You're back. Let's get these creeps."


	3. Chapter 3

Lost

Chapter Three

Zebraboymom

Disclaimer: They do not belong to me. Pooh Bears!

Author Notes: First move on the arms dealers. Hey, everybody! I just want to thank you so much for all the reviews. I am like a kid at Christmas when I open my emails and find the nice things you write to me. I try to put as much in my stories as I can that you mention. I write for at least an hour every day and I am often thinking about the things you guys like to see with these two when I am writing. Thank you and keep 'em coming. They are better than chocolate and I love chocolate!

They spent the rest of the day following up on leads. It felt good to be back as a team, but Kono was worried about Steve. He would catch her eye on occasion and when he did he would give her a small smile. Pretty soon the smile would fade and she wondered what he was thinking about. It worried her. Danny picked up on it too and when they went to talk to a snitch that was caught up in the deals that had been going down, he decided to do a little digging. Steve was driving face set in stone. Danny watched him for a bit. This was not going to be pretty.

"I know you think you're fine, but I don't think you are. Where were you man? I checked your house for four days and nothing. And what's with the looks between you and Kono? She's the only one who seems to be able to make you smile right now. "

"I needed to get away so I went to stay at a friend's place at the beach."

"What friend?" 

"Drop it Danny. The important thing is I'm back and we're going to get these guys."

"You know, Kono was worried sick the whole time you were gone. She was going crazy by the sixth day and now here you are back again."

"I mean it man. Give it a rest. I'm not asking."

"My best friend disappears for six days and comes back without any explanation and I'm supposed to just drop it? This team relies on your leadership. If that leadership is compromised I think I should know."

"What are you saying?"

"Can you lead this team right now?

"Yes, I can lead this team."

"Because if you can't…"

"I'm fine Danny and back off!"

The rest of the drive was silent.

The meeting with the snitch paid off. Another deal was going down the next day. They headed back to strategize with Kono and Chin. As Steve left for the day he noticed that Kono had already slipped out. It was just as well. He was poison. People he loved got killed. It was better if she just stayed away. He didn't want his little sister to get hurt. That's how he thought of her. Right?

The next day they arrived on the dock just as the last of the shipment had been loaded on a yacht. They entered the warehouse from the back and swept through it quickly. They saw the dealers standing near their cars talking as the yacht pulled away. They had almost been too late. They would have to get the Coast Guard involved to stop the yacht before it got out into international waters. He sent Chin to radio it in. Danny was clearing the warehouse. He and Kono moved forward to get the men who had killed Catherine. The bastards were laughing together. It made Steve's blood boil. These were the animals that hurt Catherine. He had to make it right if he was ever going to sleep again. He didn't care if he lived or died as long as he got justice for Catherine. It didn't matter what happened to him.

Without thinking he burst out into the open.

"Steve!"

Kono was shocked as Steve hurtled himself towards the group of men firing like it was the OK Corral or something. One of them went down and the others started returning fire as they tried to get in their vehicles. Did he have a death wish or what? Then it hit her. He was trying to get himself killed. He just didn't care any more. Kono knew the only thing that would get him to stop was the safety of another member. She stepped out from the safety of the building and started to walk beside him doing the same. She was terrified, but she cared more about him. Steve looked at her out of the corner of his eye. He was shocked.

"Kono, what are you doing? You're going to get yourself killed!"

Steve shoved her back out of the line of fire into the first open doorway they found. He heard the screech of tires as the dealers tore out of the parking lot. Great. They had lost them.

"Don't ever pull a stupid stunt like that again. Do you hear me? If anything happened to you I'd…"

"Oh, but it's okay for you to go down in a blaze of glory!"

"I knew exactly what I was doing!"

"Me too. You were trying to get yourself killed. Well, not on my watch either. If you want to commit suicide, do it on your own time!"

Steve looked like she had punched him in the gut. She was on to him. She knew. How did she get to the place where she understood him so well? He didn't really want to kill himself. Did he?

"So what if I do. It's none of your business what I do with my life!"

"It is too my business. You're my boss and I…care about you. The whole team cares about you and we've all had enough!"

They were in each other's faces screaming when Danny and Chin pulled them apart. Kono's chest was heaving in pain and anger. She felt tears forming in her eyes and tore herself from Chin's grip to walk out into the bright sunlight. She kept walking until she came to the rail and stood looking out at the water, her arms wrapped around her waist.

Steve slumped against Danny and then pulled himself away to stagger after her.

Danny went to follow him, but Chin held him back.

"Let them work it out Brah."

Danny nodded. They moved to check the one body and to allow their two teammates some sense of privacy.

Steve walked towards Kono. He had no idea how to apologize to her. He knew he had hurt her with his actions. Why she cared so much about him, he did not know, but he had to try to make things right. As he approached her he saw her shoulders shaking. He reached a tentative hand out to grasp her shoulder. Kono pulled away immediately and began to wipe her eyes furiously. It was obvious she didn't want him to see her emotions.

"Kono…"

"Save it."

"Kono, I…I'm sorry."

"Are you? Do you have any idea what it's like to think about going to your funeral?"

Steve reached out and tried to pull her close so he could comfort her, but she pushed back and hit him in the chest. She was crying harder and for the first time in a really long time he felt something deep inside himself stir. He hated seeing her like this. He had hurt her. That was not acceptable. All she had ever done was try to be there for him. He finally blocked the blows that continued to fall and tugged her all the way in to him. She fell into his chest weeping. He wrapped her in his arms and whispered to her.

"Shhh. I've got you. Shhh. It's all right, Sweetheart. It's going to be okay. I'm sorry. Do you hear me Kono? I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I'll never do that again, okay? You deserve better. You all do. I'm sorry I've been pushing you away. Okay? I'll try harder Kono. I swear I will."

His chest was heaving too. He felt these fierce feelings of protectiveness for this lioness of a woman. He forgot at times that she had feelings too. As her sobs began to subside he reached down and lifted her chin to look in her eyes. She tried to turn her face away, but he gently pulled it back to look affectionately at her.

"Kono, please forgive me. I've been selfish. I've been on a downward spiral ever since Catherine died, but I didn't stop to think about how that was affecting the team. I…"

"That's an understatement if ever I heard one. Steve McGarrett, do you have any idea how the last month has affected me…us? How hard it is to watch someone you…care about lose himself? I can't eat. I can't sleep. I…"

"Thank you."

Kono's eyes went wide and then softened."

"Thank you for caring about me. I have no idea why, but thank you anyway. It means so much Kono."

"Yeah, well, I'm not the only one. You owe Chin and Danny an apology as well."

Steve felt himself relax. She looked so cute when she got all up in his face. He smirked at her.

"Yes, Boss. Anything else?"

"Well, a raise would be nice or some kind of hazard pay for when you go off grid."

Steve broke into a full grin. "Kono Kalakaua, you are one amazing girl."

"Woman."

"Correction. Woman."

Steve suddenly realized he was still holding said woman tightly to him. He loosened his grip. Kono sighed in disappointment.

"Okay, time to face the music. Are Danny and Chin really as mad as you are at me?"

"Oh yeah."

Steve laughed for the first time in over a month and the two turned back towards their teammates. Steve let his arm rest lightly across her shoulders and Kono looked up at him and smiled, slipping her arm around his waist. It felt good walking with her. He smiled down at her then he recalled what had just happened. They had let their perps get away!

"Oh man. There is going to be hell to pay."

"Oh come on, Steve. Danny and Chin aren't that mad."

"No. I mean with the governor."

"Oh yeah. There's that."


	4. Chapter 4

Lost

Chapter Four

Zebraboymom

Disclaimer: They do not belong to me. Dagnabit!

Author Notes: The tension continues as they lose the dealers and a threat is made on the governor's life. Steve starts to heal. An assignment changes the status quo between him and Kono.

It had been two months and they still hadn't caught the dealers. The governor was becoming increasingly anxious to have the case resolved. Steve and Danny found the snitch murdered and they lost their biggest connection to the gang of arms dealers. The whole team was getting frustrated. Tempers were short. Then the threats started towards the governor. It was obvious where they were coming from. The governor was hosting a huge ball and Steve had begged her to cancel it, but she refused. It was up to them to protect her. Part of Steve prayed that they could catch these guys at the ball without the governor being hurt.

Danny and Chin had just returned from sweeping the ballroom and making sure the governor had her personal protective detail in place. The four of them would mingle among the guests and keep an eye out for anything suspicious. Steve was dressed in his tux and they were just waiting for Kono who had gone home to get ready. The elevator doors opened and Kono stepped out in a beautiful midnight blue ball gown that was slit up her leg. She had her hair swept up and a traditional Hawaiian flower behind her ear. With her heels on she was only slightly shorter than Steve was. Danny let out a long low whistle. Kono looked up to see the 3 men staring at her. A blush rose to her cheeks and she met Steve's eyes briefly. He was looking at her almost wolfishly and it made her feel warm all over.

Danny and Chin were dressed as waiters.

"So, Cinderella and the Prince get to go to the ball and we're sloughing drinks to people. Where's the love?"

Steve didn't answer Danny as he was just staring at Kono. His gaze was so intense she had to drop her eyes. It was the first time she felt like he was looking at her as a woman. The silence grew and Chin finally cleared his throat.

"Guys, we need to get moving. The ball is starting."

"Uh…shall we?"

Steve offered Kono his arm and they headed for the elevator that lead up to the party at the top of the building. As the doors closed, Steve looked down at her and smiled. Kono shivered. He looked amazing in a tuxedo. It was enough to bring a girl to her knees. The doors opened and they stepped out into the ballroom to join the receiving line.

The governor spotted the two in line and smiled to herself as they moved forward. She took note of the fact that Steve had covered Kono's hand on his arm with his other hand and was leaning down slightly to whisper in her ear. Whatever he was saying made the young woman relax and smile up at him.

"Commander. Kono. Aren't you a beautiful couple? You clean up nicely Commander and Kono you are breathtaking in that dress. Isn't she Steve?"

Steve turned and looked at Kono then and his insides went to putty. She looked so amazing tonight. He could only nod his head. Kono tilted her head and looked at him curiously.

"I know you're working here, but try to have some fun too. That's an order Commander."

They needed a vantage point and the middle of the room seemed a good place for surveillance. Without another word Steve swept Kono out onto the dance floor and took her in his arms. He moved her around the floor easily and she looked up at him in a little bit of shock. She couldn't hold his gaze for very long before dropping her head to his shoulder and chuckling.

"What?"

"Who knew Steve McGarrett could dance?"

"What? You didn't think I could dance? I just run black ops and play bang bang shoot 'em up?"

"Something like that."

Kono looked up at him again and smiled the most beautiful smile he had seen on her face to date.

"I'm having a really good time Steve, even if we are here on a mission."

They both made a pass of the room with their eyes. Steve smiled back at her.

"I'm having a good time too, Kono. It's the first one in a long time."

This time it was Steve who was chuckling.

"What?"

Steve used the arm he had around her waist to pull her impossibly closer.

"What are you laughing about?"

Steve held his finger to his lips and reached up to remove her ear mic. He did the same thing with his and closed his hand around both. He leaned in and his warm breath blew across her ear.

"I was just thinking that three months ago I was having conversations with myself about how you were like my kid sister and the rookie and I needed to look out for you."

"And now?"

Steve placed a soft open-mouthed kiss on her neck just below her earlobe. It made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and sent shivers up her spine.

"Let's just say my thoughts right now aren't very brotherly."

"Really?" 

Steve took a deep sniff of her fragrance. It was a heady scent…all vanilla and coconut.

"Really."

"Just so you know…I have never thought of you as a brother either."

She looked up at him and her breath caught when she saw how close he was to her. Before she knew what was happening, he cupped her cheek and leaned in to kiss her. It was short and soft and barely there, but it was a wonderful first kiss. When he pulled back her eyes were as wide as saucers. She lifted her arms and slipped them around his neck and leaned in close.

"I'm sorry, Kono. I couldn't help it. I know we are supposed to be on duty. You just look so…"

"It's okay, Steve. I liked it. I like you."

They put their ear buds back in and continued to hold each other as they swept the room again and again. They didn't see anyone or anything suspicious. Danny and Chin both checked in and said the same. Steve was beginning to think the whole thing had been a hoax designed to throw the governor off her game. He looked up to see her moving towards them through the crowd. She smiled at the two of them wrapped up in each other's arms.

"Kono, come with me to the ladies room? I am not going to have some man standing inside while I pee."

"Sure Governor. I could use a break myself."

Steve reluctantly let Kono go and watched as the two women made their way to the restrooms. Just before they went inside Kono turned and gave Steve the most dazzling smile. He stood there like a schoolboy smiling back at her when he felt a hand slam down hard on his shoulder. Danny.

"So, got your eyes on the room, Boss?"

He loved to tease Steve and he could see that something special was developing between his teammates. He couldn't be happier for him.

"Huh?"

"She's a great gal Steve. You could do a lot worse."

"What? Kono and me? We're not…"

"Yeah ya are."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Let's just say I thought the dance floor was going to melt from the heat."

"She's really special, you know?"

"Yeah, she is. You take care of her man, because if you don't, Chin and I will personally kick your butt."

He grinned at Steve and the two men walked towards the restrooms to wait for the women to return.

Kono stood looking in the mirror at her flushed face. She felt really embarrassed that it was so obvious how she felt. The governor smiled at her as she went to wash her hands."

"The Commander is a lovely man isn't he?"

"Yes, he is."

"How long have you two been dating?" 

"Oh, we aren't dating."

"Okay, how long have you been in love with him?"

"Uh...we aren't…"

"Kono, it's written all over your face. It's sweet. He's just as smitten from what I can tell. You make a lovely couple and you seem well matched from what I've seen of the two of you in action."

"So you approve of our relationship?"

"I'm happy for both of you. The Commander deserves someone in his life that loves and understands him. I think that person is you."

"Governor, that's such a nice thing to say. Thank you."

The sound of an explosion ripping through the building caused Kono to grab her and pull her to the floor. She covered her body with her own.

The explosion came from the entrance of the ballroom and Steve and Danny turned to see several people on the floor. There was no telling how many were hurt. They both pulled their weapons expecting to be overrun, but no one came through the doors. The two men looked at each other.

"The bomb's just a decoy."

"Kono and the governor!"

Steve and Danny burst into the restroom. It was empty.


	5. Chapter 5

Lost

Chapter Five

Zebraboymom

Disclaimer: They do not belong to me. Ratsky!

Author Notes: Steve goes crazy trying to get to Kono and the governor.

It had only taken a minute to lose them. Steve and Danny sprinted down the back stairs in pursuit of whoever had taken the women. Steve could see the men outside through the second story window on the stairwell. They were loading the governor and Kono in a van. Kono was putting up one hell of a fight. They both were. One of the men punched Kono in the face and knocked her out. His adrenaline kicked in. They could not get away with the governor and the woman he…loved? He was sure they only wanted to get information from them and then they would kill them both. Where were the guards? Steve started leaping down the stairs several at a time. When they reached the bottom floor he almost fell over the two guards. They were lying dead at the entrance.

Steve sprinted out of the building with Danny behind him as the van started down the backstreet. Steve ran alongside the passenger side holding onto the edge of the window. He fired at the driver who fired in return nicking Steve's arm. His next shot hit the driver and the van careened away and rolled over throwing Steve to the side as it skidded and flipped. Steve and Danny watched in horror as it ended up on its top, slid into a row of parked cars and came to a standstill. Steve jumped up and ran as fast as her could to the van. He threw open the back doors. Kono lay in a crumpled heap at the back doors. Her arm was at a funny angle and she was unconscious. The other gunman was unconscious as well. The only gunman left alive was holding the governor. He held her in front of him.

"Back off or I'll kill her." 

Steve didn't even hesitate. He put a bullet through his brain. The governor slumped down and whimpered. Danny rushed in to her side. Steve dropped down by Kono and felt for a pulse. It was there. She was barely alive.

"Get a bus!"

Chin came running around to the back of the van. He choked on a sob when he saw his cousin. Steve looked up at him with tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Chin. I'm so sorry. This is all my fault."

Danny assessed the governor.

"Are you in pain ma'am?"

"Of course I'm in pain. I was just thrown around in a van. What do you think? I believe I have a broken wrist and maybe some ribs. I can breath fine though. I'm more concerned about Kono. She did everything she could to protect me. She fought all three of them off until two of them pinned her and the third started beating her. I tried to help, but one of them had a gun on me. She was incredibly brave and fearless."

The EMTs were there in less than three minutes, but it felt like three hours for Steve. They had to move him out of the way to care for her as the governor was loaded in an ambulance quickly and taken away. Danny escorted her along with an entourage of police vehicles. She was lucid the whole time and kept barking orders at the emergency personnel to take good care of Kono right up until they slammed the doors of the ambulance.

Steve refused any medical treatment and climbed in the other ambulance with Kono. He sat near the front while they assessed her. He held her hand and brushed her hair back from her face. Every once in awhile he would bend over and kiss her forehead. Tears slipped down his cheeks and the EMTs knew they had to save this girl. When they arrived at the hospital orderlies forced him to get his gunshot wound taken care of. The man was bleeding all over the place. It was just a nick, but it took six stitches to close the wound. He kept trying to hear what they were doing with Kono. It sounded awful and he was getting more and more agitated as the nurse and doctor finished sewing him up. He wanted to go to her, but they pushed him back out into the waiting room and he began to pace like a caged animal. They were briefly informed that Kono had been taken to surgery and that she had not regained consciousness. She had coded twice in the ER, so the doctor was not optimistic about the outcome. He did say she was a fighter and anyone else would have succumbed to his or her injuries by now. Steve knew she was strong. He loved that about her. Chin arrived after he had secured the crime scene. That was three hours later and still no word about Kono. The governor had been moved to a room. She would be there for four to five days, so Steve kept himself busy ordering a protective detail and making sure her room was secured. She patted his arm as he went to leave.

"She's going to be okay Steve, I just know it."

He gave her a small smile and nodded. She just had to be. As he walked back to the surgery waiting room he thought about how the situation had been handled. With the use of explosives, that had to mean some kind of training. He was pretty sure they were black ops, so he had a legitimate lead now. There was no way that three men comprised the entire arms dealer gang. They would come after the governor again and he was determined to make them pay for what they did to Kono. He joined the family in the waiting room again and began his catlike patrol of the room. He finally stopped pacing as a doctor came out of surgery.

"Family of Kono Kalakaua?"

Steve, Chin, Danny and a group of Kono's family all stepped forward at once. The doctor waved them to all sit down and he began to talk about her injuries. She had a broken arm, four broken ribs, contusions and cuts requiring stitches. One of the ribs had punctured a lung and they had to put in a chest tube. Thank God she was not paralyzed, but she had suffered a major concussion and was in a coma. Her arm had been severely broken and he had to open her up and put in a pin. He was relatively sure she would regain all use of it though.

"Is she going to live?" Steve held his breath.

"I'm optimistic that if she makes it through the next 48 hours and she comes out of the coma she will survive. It will take some time to get back to her old self though. She's in recovery and then will be in ICU. You can see her one at a time once she's settled in the ICU."

"She will need a security detail on her and I plan on staying with her until she recovers."

The doctor knew there was no arguing with this man, besides, the governor had told him in no uncertain terms that Steve McGarrett was in charge when it came to Kono. He smiled to himself. This wasn't just a protective team leader. This was a man in love. The doctor excused himself and everyone went back to waiting. Steve backed up into a wall then and let out the breath he had been holding. He slid down to the floor and rested his head on his knees and cried. She had to be okay. She just had to be. Chin came over and sat down on the floor with him. He patted him on the shoulder.

"Steve, what you said earlier isn't true. It is not your fault something happened to Kono. It comes with the job, Steve. Kono knew that. I know that. No one blames you, okay?

Steve could barely manage to nod his head. He dropped his head, gave into the exhaustion and fell asleep for a while still in the same position. Danny came and joined them and the two friends sat on either side of Steve like his own protective detail. They waited almost another hour and then they were allowed to see her one at a time. Steve waited until everyone was done. He hugged Kono's mother and promised her that he would not leave her side. He would take good care of her. He sent Danny and Chin home for some rest. They would be on detail with the governor for the next several days. Chin refused to go home, but the staff let him lie down and rest in a nearby room. Once everyone was gone, Steve returned to Kono's room and stood in the doorway looking at her. Feelings swept through him like a grass fire. They were overwhelming. There was guilt, fear, love, tenderness, anger and a multitude of other emotions. How could anyone lay a hand on such a beautiful person? He wanted to put his fist throughthe wall, but he restrained himself and walked over to look down at her. He sat down and scooted his chair as close as he could get to her bed. He reached and took her one good hand in his one good one. He twined his fingers with hers and laid his head on her hip so he could just stare at her face. She breathed in and out like she was sleeping, but she was battered and bruised. Her beautiful face was one swollen bruise and he felt warm tears start to form again in his eyes. He knew he shouldn't, but he slipped his other arm out of its sling and reached up to smooth her hair from her face and caress her cheek. The floodgates opened and his choked sobs wrenched from his body.

"You have to be okay, Kono. You just have to. It was all my fault. I shot the driver. I caused the van to lose control. I put you in harm's way. It was me. Forgive me Kono. Please forgive me. You have to get better so I can tell you something. It's something really important, so please wake up for me."

He closed his eyes and prayed. Eventually he fell into a troubled sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Lost

Chapter Six

Zebraboymom

Disclaimer: They do not belong to me. What a bummer!

Author Notes: Steve waits for Kono to recover and makes a plan to get the dealers once and for all. Warning. Fluffy chapter!

Sometime during the night, Steve felt a soft hand in his hair. He was still in the chair, but had fallen asleep with his head resting on Kono's bed by her hip. He thought for a moment he was dreaming, but then he felt it again and he knew she was awake. He opened his eyes and looked into her pretty brown ones.

"Hey."

"Hey, you. You're awake."

"You stayed with me."

"Wild horses couldn't drag me away."

He lifted his head up and smiled at her. He clasped her hand in his and kissed her fingertips. His heart was too full to speak at the moment. He just wanted to enjoy her presence. Then it dawned on him. Someone should know.

"I'll get the nurse. Are you in pain?"

"A little, but I don't want you to go."

"I promise I'll be right back. You can't get rid of me that easily."

He smiled at her and sprinted down the hall to the nurse's station. They looked up at him and saw the dazzling smile on his face.

"I take it our girl is awake."

One of the nurses paged Kono's doctor and followed Steve back to her room.

"How are you doing dear? In much pain?"

"Uh…some."

"Uh-huh. I know that look. Kono, you can't hold back when you are in pain. You need to tell us and let us help you manage it. Okay?"

"Okay."

"The doctor is just down on the next floor. He should be here in a few minutes and then I'll give you something so you can sleep again."

Kono looked at Steve.

"I don't want to sleep."

The door swung open and her doctor came in.

"The more you rest, the quicker you can get out of here."

The doctor ran some tests and asked Kono some questions. He was satisfied with what he heard and told Kono it was just a matter of healing. It would take time, but she would recover. The nurse gave her a sedative and they both left the two of them alone again. Steve couldn't stop himself. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss to her lips and nuzzled her with his nose. Kono yawned.

"I don't want to sleep again. I just want to look at you."

"I am not going anywhere. When you wake up, I will be right here. You are going to get tired of this face."

Kono reached up with her one good hand and cupped his cheek.

"That's never going to happen."

She sighed and closed her eyes while Steve stroked his fingers through her hair. It was so soothing that she was gone in no time.

A week later, Kono was finally ready to leave the hospital. They had moved her to a room with a window seat that turned into a bed and Steve had never left her side. He took vacation time to be with her and was taking an additional week at home with her before he went back to work. He was in constant contact with Danny and Chin who were questioning every mercenary and ex-special forces guy they could find. A couple of them heard about what happened to Kono and vowed to help them find the group. So far none of them had turned up anything. Kono's discharge day finally arrived and she was eager to leave. A nurse helped her get ready and then Steve helped her to sit down in the wheel chair. He brushed her hair back after she sat down. Over the last week they had been touching each other a lot. They were both enjoying this new level of intimacy and Kono was excited that she was going to be staying with Steve. He pushed her down the hall as she waved at all the nurses. Steve gave each one a peck and a hug and thanked them for taking such good care of his girl. He lifted her out of the chair and set her in the jeep before she could protest. The nurse took the wheel chair and gave her a knowing smile.

"I know you are in good hands dear."

Steve climbed in and Kono closed her eyes, thankful to be outside again. She missed the sun and the ocean and the waves. Riding along the beach to Steve's house was the best medicine she could get.

Steve helped her out of his jeep and walked her into the house. She looked pale by the time they made it up the four short steps to his porch. He led her inside and guided her to his bedroom. She sat gingerly down on the edge of the bed. Steve set her bag down.

"Can you open my bag and get my pajamas out? I usually sleep in shorts and a tank, but that's going to be too hard to do right now."

Steve got a pair out for her and handed them to her. She bit her lip and looked up at him.

"I..uh…I want to take a shower and I'm going to need your help to undress."

Steve nodded, but didn't take his eyes off of her face. He reached for the buttons on her blouse and undid them one by one. He kept his eyes on her the whole time and when she realized what he was doing, she gave him a soft, sweet smile. He slipped the shirt off her by pulling her to his chest and letting her lean on him. He helped her to stand while she slipped off her yoga pants and then he lead her slowly to the bathroom with her hands on his shoulders. She would wince from time to time and it made him angry all over again. He would kill the bastards that did this to her. When they got to the bathroom he slowly removed the body wrap they had put on for her ribs and fitted the waterproof cast cover they gave her at the hospital over her broken arm. She turned her back to him.

"If you could just…uh…unhook my bra, I can do the rest."

Steve reached out and slipped his hands underneath the silky strap and unhooked it.

The bra drifted to the floor and he saw how beautiful her back was when it was totally bare. He leaned in and gave her a soft kiss on the shoulder and pulled the curtain open for her. She looked back over her shoulder at him and gave him one of her affectionate smiles. It melted him right down into his socks. He held out an arm so she could steady herself and averted his eyes as she stepped in and closed the curtain.

"Call me if you need me. Chin brought me all your toiletries and I put your shampoo and shower gel in there with a loofa."

"Aren't you just the ultimate caretaker?"

Steve grinned and went into the kitchen to make her a snack. She had eaten dinner before they left the hospital, but he had to do something. He had to get away from there before the images of her in his shower became too much. After about ten minutes he heard her calling for him. He rushed back into the bathroom and he heard Kono crying.

"Honey, what's wrong?"

"I…I can't get out of the shower. Taking one wore me down and I…I just can't move."

"Okay, I'm getting a towel and I'm going to pull back the curtain and cover you, okay?"

"Okay." Her voice came out in a whimper.

Steve grabbed a big fluffy towel and pulled back the curtain. She was leaning against the tile and her legs were shaking. He averted his eyes from her adorable bottom and wrapped the towel around her from behind. He picked her up and lifted her out of the shower and set her on the closed toilet lid. He grabbed another towel and knelt down to dry her hair with it. She looked exhausted and all the color had drained out of her face. He knew she was frustrated; she always bit her lip when she was and right at the moment it looked like she was going to draw blood.

"It will get easier Kono. I promise. You'll get your strength back before you know it."

When her hair was pretty much towel dried, he gently combed it for her. She looked up at him a couple of times as he did.

"I hate feeling helpless."

"I know. I know that's why you wouldn't go to your mother's house when you got out. It means a lot to me Kono that you trust me enough to be vulnerable with me. Don't think for one minute I think less of you. I've been hurt like this myself and I know for a fact that you are doing amazingly well all things considered."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Come on. Let's get you into bed."

They started the process of walking back to his bed. He picked up her short pajama pants and held them open for her to step in. He pulled them up her body at the sides while she held the towel in place. When he was done he sat her down on the bed, took off the water proof sleeve and went to get the wrap for her ribs. She looked embarrassed, but while he was getting the wrap ready she dropped the towel and crossed her arms over her bare breasts. This was why she loved this man. He concentrated only on her ribs and gently wrapped her back up. He went around and around her body with it. His hand on her bare skin made her shiver just a little. When he had secured it in place, he reached for the button up top. She dropped her arms one at a time and he slipped first one sleeve and then the other on. Once he was done he looked her in the eyes again. He pulled the sides together and buttoned her up again. Steve pulled back the covers and she lay down. He covered her up and sat on the edge of the bed. He reached out and stroked her hair and then caressed her cheek gently. The bruises were starting to fade but he didn't want to hurt her.

"I made you a snack if you're hungry."

"Not right now. Too tired to eat, okay?"

"Okay, but tomorrow I'm making you pancakes for breakfast and I expect you to eat at least two."

"Yes sir."

"I'll be right out on the couch if you need anything, okay?"

"Thanks Steve."

He stood and walked to the door. He turned back when he heard her sigh.

"You have the softest bed. It's so nice."

He looked at her bathed in the moonlight spilling in the window. She looked like a little girl cuddling down. His heart swelled with love for her again.

"Night Kono."

"Night Steve."


	7. Chapter 7

Lost

Chapter Seven

Zebraboymom

Disclaimer: They do not belong to me. Gee Whiz!

Author Notes: Steve takes care of Kono and confessions are made. Plans are afoot to take down the dealers. Hooray!

Several hours later Steve woke up to soft cries. He got up and went to his bedroom. Kono was thrashing around in her sleep. She was going to hurt herself. He went to her and gently shook her. She sat straight upright and threw her good arm around his neck sobbing into his chest.

Steve wrapped his arms around her shaking body and cuddled her close.

"You're all right. It's over. I'm here now, Sweetheart. I'm going to take care of you."

He felt her relax and tuck her face into his neck. He stroked her hair and rubbed her back. When she spoke her voice trembled.

"I...I'm sorry. I feel stupid having nightmares like a little kid."

"What were they of?"

"I was back there in the bathroom and they were punching me and it wouldn't stop. I tried to fight them as best as I could, but they were strong and with three of them I couldn't dodge them all. Some protection I was for the governor. I feel useless."

"That same governor couldn't stop talking about you and how you had protected her with no thought for yourself. You're like her super hero now. Really, Kono."

"If I can't do my job effectively, I don't belong on the team, Steve."

"Kono, it could just as easily have been Danny or Chin or myself in that situation. Three against one? Don't be so hard on yourself. Now how about getting some more sleep? Do you need another pain pill?"

"No. I hate those things. They make me feel weird."

Steve carefully laid her back down and sat on the edge of the bed. He caressed her cheek and held her hand while she settled. They sat in the dark looking at each other. He rubbed his thumb back and forth over the back of her hand. Finally Steve stood up to leave and Kono wouldn't let go of his hand.

"Will you…stay with me, Steve?"

"Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you Kono."

"You won't. I just want you to hold me."

Steve walked around to the other side of his bed and helped her move over. He went back on the other side and lay down on his back so that she could turn on her good side and lay on his chest. Her arm was out of the sling at night and she laid it across his waist and put her head up on his shoulder, nuzzling her nose into his neck. She breathed him in. A sigh slipped out and she cuddled closer to him. He ran his fingers through her hair and decided this was the way he could spend the rest of his life. His other hand stroked her upper arm where it was exposed above the cast. They lay there in the dark for a while.

"Kono, I need to tell you something. It's something I realized when you got hurt. I realized I've never felt this way about anyone before. The truth of the matter is that I…I love you Kono. I love you so much. I haven't told you that yet and I should have."

Her answer was soft breathing. She had fallen asleep again. Steve chuckled to himself. He would just have to wait for the right time to confess his love. He brushed his hand down her arm and closed his eyes. Nothing felt better than to hold her like this.

The next week went really fast as far as Steve was concerned. Each day Kono got a little stronger. By the middle of the week she could get dressed herself except for the buttons and of course she couldn't manage a bra yet. Sigh. She made a comment about looking forward to the day when she could lift her hands over her head and go back to wearing T-shirts. Steve hoped that day never came. They snuggled on the couch and watched movies. They sat on his porch and watched the sunset. He cooked them amazing meals and Kono taught him some traditional Hawaiian dishes. That was his favorite part of the week. There was something so domestic about cooking together. He wished the week would never end, but a part of him wanted to get back and catch the bad guys. He missed his job. He loved his job, but if push came to shove, Kono would always come first. He still hadn't told her he loved her and tomorrow it was back to work. He made her a special meal while she watched him. She was sitting on one of his bar stools next to the island in the middle of his kitchen. She was wearing a pair of shorts. She was barefoot and had her legs crossed. He was having a hard time focusing on the task. When he was finally done, they took their food out onto the porch and set it on a table Steve had adorned with a tablecloth and candles. It was very romantic and Kono smiled as he held her chair for her.

"You're spoiling me."

"Darn right I am. You deserve it."

The food was delicious and the company was even better. They talked for hours and Kono could feel herself wearing down from the day. Steve knew she was tired. He grabbed her pills and insisted she take one.

"This is the last pill I'm taking Steve McGarrett. I mean it."

"Agreed."

He reached down and scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. He helped her into her pajamas and put her to bed. She watched him move around in the dark as he stripped off his shirt and shorts and climbed into the bed in his boxers. They nestled in each other's arms and looked deeply into each other's eyes.

"Kono?"

"Hmm?"

"I…I love you."

"I love you too."

And that was it. It was a simple statement, but they had said it…to each other. Steve carefully pulled her close and kissed her deeply. They both sighed into the kiss. Steve was worried about hurting her and pulled back. Showing her how much he loved her would have to wait until she was completely healed.

"What now?"

Steve's voice was husky. "Sleep I think."

Kono stood on the porch the next morning and watched him load his jeep with his go bag. It was hard to think of the team going after these guys without her, but she knew she wasn't ready yet. The tender care Steve had given her had made a world of difference from that first night. When he was ready, he came to stand at the bottom of the stairs smiling up at her.

"Now don't do too much. Leave the dishes and the bed and the bathroom for me."

"Yes sir."

"And don't watch too much day time television. It rots your brain."

Kono giggled.

"I have never watched a soap opera in my life."

"Yeah, I never saw you as the General Hospital type."

He smiled and took the four stairs in two strides. He wrapped his arms around her waist and gently pulled her close. She slipped her arms around his neck and laid her head over his heart.

"Steve… these last two weeks have been incredible. I couldn't have done this without you. In a couple of weeks my ribs will be pretty much healed and I can't wait to come back to work."

"I know. I'll miss spending all day with you. I'm glad we'll be able to do that again when you come back. I'm so glad you're doing better. I only have one regret."

He looked down with mischief in his eyes.

"What?"

"I don't get to undress and dress you anymore."

Kono smacked him on the back of the head.

"And there it is."

Steve rocked her gently in his arms and sighed.

"I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too. You know without you around I will probably climb the walls."

"I'll try to get away early. I just want to follow up on any leads the guys got while I was gone. We're going to get those guys Kono. I promise you that."

He looked down into her upturned face and planted a soft kiss to her lips. Time was suspended for a minute as they explored each other tenderly. Kono had never had a man kiss her the way Steve did. She couldn't even put into words what it felt like, but she was ruined for anyone else. She never wanted him to stop, but eventually he pulled back and looked at her flushed face and grinned.

"And that's enough exercise for you right now young lady."

He released her and started down the stairs only to run back up and give her one more. When he started back down again she held onto his hand until she had to let go. She wrapped her good arm around her waist and fought to keep control of her tears. She didn't want Steve to feel bad about going back to work, but she was going to miss him so much. She gave him an encouraging smile and watched him hop in his jeep and drive off. Just as she thought she was going to lose it, the jeep stopped and Steve stood up and turned around to look back at her. He called to her.

"I love you, Kono Kalakaua!"

She laughed and yelled back.

"I love you too, Steve McGarrett."

Steve sighed, put his hand over his heart for a second and smiled back at her before he dropped down and drove off.

Kono smiled for the entire day.

Steve looked over the various contacts the guys had made while he was home with Kono. Derek Chambers was an ex special ops guy that Steve had met years ago when he was a Seal. The guy was a rock and his special forces training gave him an in when it came to anything where men were hired for money. The difference with Derek was he had an ethic and a moral code. He only worked projects that he thought would legitimately help someone. Steve used to laugh at him and call him the mercenary with a heart. He and Steve had become friends during his time in the Seals. They had kept in contact over the years and he was surprised to learn he had settled in Honolulu. He had left a message for Steve to call him the day before Steve got back.

Steve, Chin, and Danny met him at Kua Aina's for lunch. Derek lined everything out for him. The dealer's had used him once before. He thought they were legitimate until he saw them kill one of their own. He had looked into their operations and when he heard through another mercenary that Steve was looking for them, he called Five-O. Over lunch the four of them devised a plan.


	8. Chapter 8

Lost

Chapter Eight

Zebraboymom

Disclaimer: They do not belong to me. Aw heck!

Author Notes: It's time to catch the bad guys. Booyah!

Steve woke up to the most wonderful feeling in the world. Kono was tucked tightly into his side. Her head rested on his chest. He had his fingers tangled in her hair as always. They had not spent a night apart since that first night when Kono had asked him to stay. It was like an unspoken decision had played out. They were together from now on come what may. Steve felt his chest tighten at the thought of it. His mind went to Kono walking across the sand to him in a wedding dress. He saw her wearing a bikini with a cute little baby bump showing. He saw the two of them teaching their children to surf. He saw the two of them sitting on his porch steps looking out at the ocean in their old age. He wanted all of it with her. He wanted to tell her that, but he knew he needed to wait until this operation was final. It had been four weeks and Kono was going to come in to work with him today. They had argued about it last night, but he finally agreed to let her be the tech person at headquarters since today they were going after the gunrunners. She had shrugged her shoulders and agreed to anything as long as he let her be part of taking these guys down. It was hard for her. He knew she wanted to be with the team, but she wasn't ready physically.

He pulled her close and placed a kiss on the tip of her nose. Her eyes opened and he was greeted with a big smile.

"I get to go to work today!"

"Yes, you do. Just remember though, if you over do it I will send you straight home young lady."

"Yes, Dad. Now get up so we can get going."

Steve wrapped his arm around her waist careful of her ribs, which were getting better, and pulled her back down on the bed.

"I see how it is. You're all love dovey when you're hurt, but the romance goes out the window when you are back in kick ass mode."

Kono grinned and relaxed back down onto his chest.

"Oh, is Stevie feeling neglected?"

She started placing wet sloppy kisses on his face and chest until he laughed and held her still. He gave her one of his toe curling Steve kisses and she sighed into it, pulling the covers back over them.

"Okay, maybe five more minutes wouldn't hurt."

He rolled her over carefully and leaned over her to look down into her big brown eyes.

"I love you." 

"I love you too. I also love saying that to you. I also love that we are going to kick some booty today…well you're going to kick some booty. I'm just a glorified geek today."

"Ah, but you're the most beautiful geek I have ever met."

"Okay, flattery will get you everywhere."

"I hope so. I really hope so." 

They got ready quickly and played footsie with each other while they ate breakfast. Steve drove Kono in to work and dropped her off to go meet Chin at the armory where the tactical team was waiting for instructions. Kono got busy coordinating all the telecom equipment they would need to be in contact with each other. It felt really good to be back doing what she did best. She looked around headquarters and sighed. Home. She couldn't wait for the team to assemble there for the final consult. She had missed them all so much.

Danny and Derek arrived before Steve and Chin did. They had been watching the plantation house where the dealer's operations were located. Danny was fascinated with this guy and his toys. He had more high-tech gear than they did and he had always thought the governor kept them in a lot of cool stuff.

Danny spotted Kono as soon as he got off the elevator. His face lit up when he saw her. Even though he and Chin had come over several times to Steve's while she was there, he was so glad to see her back at work. He jogged to her and wrapped her in his arms for a big bear hug.

"Kono! I've missed you."

"I missed you too Danny."

"This place isn't the same without you. Steve isn't the same without you."

Derek took in the beauty with the cast on her arm. So this was the "teammate" that had been injured. No wonder Steve didn't mention she was female. He would love to get to know her better. He approached the two of them with his hand out.

"Hi. I'm Derek…"

"Chambers. Yeah I know. Steve tells me we have you to thank for being able to catch these guys."

"I hope so. Guys like these give guys like me a bad reputation. I can't have that. Besides, Steve is a good guy. He never told me he had such an amazing and beautiful team member though."

He gave her his best smile. Kono looked uncomfortable. She had never done well with men who came on to her. Just then, Steve and Chin exited the elevator and it wasn't lost on Steve that Derek had Kono's hand wrapped in his for a little bit too long. He could tell Kono felt uncomfortable, but when she looked up and saw Steve her face split into a big grin. Chin rushed forward.

"Cousin, I've missed you."

Once again she was enveloped in a big bear hug. Kono winced a bit, but she didn't say anything. She kept her eyes on Steve the whole time.

"So, McGarret, you've been holding out on me. How'd you find such a fox for your team?"

Chin bristled.

"I brought her to the team and she's my cousin, so watch yourself."

Derek could sense the testosterone level in the room going up. He caught Danny's posture change and Steve looked like he could kill him with his bare hands. He put his hands in the air in a gesture of surrender.

"Okay, I get it. Off limits. I read you loud and clear. You can't fault a guy for trying. I mean, look at her. Truce?"

Kono shrugged and smiled.

They got down to business and Kono hooked them all up with their communication system. They did a trial run, went over the plans one last time and then grabbed their gear.

"You guys go ahead. I'll be right down. I just want to go over a couple of things with Kono."

"Yeah, right, go over a few things. Uh-huh."

The three men laughed and climbed in the elevator. Steve turned back to Kono.

"You going to be okay here?"

"Of course I will. Steve…please be careful. I don't want a repeat of what happened at the dock out of some sense that you have to get justice for me. Promise? I want you back alive and in my life more than I want these guys to pay."

"I promise. Now come here you."

Steve wrapped her up in his arms and kissed her deeply. He nuzzled his nose along her jaw line and kissed her again. Kono really thought she might faint this time. They were both oblivious to the sound of the elevator doors opening again and it wasn't until they heard the sound of the governor clearing her throat, that they came out of the haze and stepped back.

"Nice to see you two getting along so well."

"Uh, yeah. Governor what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to come down and see my favorite girl, so I cleared my schedule. I want to listen to this thing go down. I want to see them pay for what they put Kono and I through. I'm also tired of seeing them use my islands for their sordid business. Go get them Commander."

"Yes, ma'am."

With one last look at Kono, Steve got on the elevator and left. Kono was embarrassed that the governor had seen them in such an intimate embrace. She stood awkwardly for a moment and then the governor laughed. She fanned herself with her hand

"Can I just say, Kono, wow! You are one lucky woman. That was hot!"

Kono burst out into a fit of giggles. She really liked the governor.

The four men led the convoy of SUVs down through the pineapple fields to the headquarters. Derek and Danny had found a back road they could use to get closer to the house undetected. When they got close enough, the four of them split up and each took the lead of a tactical team coming in from four different locations. Kono had a visual on satellite.

"Okay you guys, it looks like there are at least ten guys covering the fields surrounding the house and another dozen surrounding the house itself. Looks like there are at least twenty men inside the house giving off heat signatures. There's no way to tell who the leaders are from the various locations, but there's a small group alone at the back of the house. It may be them, but I can't be for sure. Sorry."

"Thanks, Kono."

"Chin and Danny, your teams are on the guys in the fields. Derek and I will take on the guys surrounding the house. As soon as you finish, join us. We want all teams hitting the interior at the same time. Kono, when you see us clear the outside I'll need a read on where everybody is inside, so there won't be any surprises."

"You got it."

It went like clock work as they cleared the fields. The trained men took out all ten men without a shot being fired. As they hit the exterior of the house things got crazy. Shots rang out and several tactical team members went down. Kono tried to get Steve the intel he needed before going in, but it was chaos at the moment and Kono did her best to give them the information on the run. Her heart sped up when she heard Steve firing and running. With all four teams hitting the house at once, it looked like it was going to go as planned anyway. Steve made his way to the back where they suspected the leaders had retreated. The group of four men made a break for it. Steve, Danny, Chin and Derek spread out to take them down.

Steve took off after the guy Derek had described as the top leader. He was the one who ordered the hit on the governor and for Steve there was unfinished business. He tackled the guy near the garage. They rolled around in the grass and then both scrambled to their feet. The ringleader threw the first punch. Steve came at him no holds barred. He took a fairly strong hit to his stomach, but it didn't even slow him down. He could only think about all the bruises he had seen on Kono's beautiful body and it made him want to tear this guy apart limb from limb. Half way into the fight, Danny, Chin, and Derek found them. The house had been secured and it only took this last guy to make the round up complete. The three men knew better than to intervene. This was personal. This was something Steve had to do for Kono. All three men knew what that felt like. They were going to enjoy watching Steve kick this guy's butt. Danny could hear Kono on the Com asking what was going on. Danny took a second to fill her in.

"Let's just say your boyfriend is going Tarzan on the leader. I wish you could be here to see it."

Kono could hear the guys in the background.

"Ohhhhh! "Steve, behind you." "Duck man!" "Ohhhh!"

"Don't let him get hurt Danny, okay?"

"I don't think that's gonna happen, but we've got his back. The guy has it bad for you kiddo. He's taking this guy apart. He must really love you."

Kono and the governor grinned at each other.

"I knew I hired the right man for this job."

"That's why I love him."

Kono froze as she realized what she had just said. She looked at the governor for some sort of reaction, but was met with a huge smile.

"I knew it!"

As silly as it looked for this elegant woman to do it, she high-fived Kono and they both burst out laughing.

Author Notes: One more chapter to go. Thanks for staying with me and sending me some of the best and most positive reviews I have had to date. I love you guys!


	9. Chapter 9

Lost

Chapter Nine

Zebraboymom

Disclaimer: They do not belong to me. Phooey Chop Sooey!

Author Notes: Final Chapter. Fluffity, fluffity, fluff, fluff. I warned you.

Steve grinned up at Kono from where he sat on the corner of his desk. She was dabbing antiseptic on the cut over his eye. His girlfriend did not look happy, but he was beside himself. He felt his heart rate evening out and the adrenaline starting to come down. He had relished every minute of the take down. He remembered her voice coming across his ear piece after he cuffed the guy.

"Steve McGarrett, what did you think you were doing taking him down with your bare hands?"

The other guys had chuckled as they, of course, could hear the entire conversation.

"Kono, come on. I just wanted to…"

"What? What, Steve? Get yourself killed?"

"No, Baby…"

"Ohhhh." "Baby is it?" "Uh-huh." "Lover's quarrel!"

"Uh…can we talk about this later…at home?"

"Oh, you better believe we are going to talk about it."

"Uh, oh." "Stevie is in the dog house." "You got that right."

Kono dabbed the antiseptic on pretty hard this time. She was trying not to crack a smile. He was so adorable when he was like this. He settled his hands on her hips as she worked and drew her closer to him. He was so cute with that smug expression, but she couldn't let him know that. His head would be too huge to fit in the jeep later.

Steve's mind had wandered back to the bust. When they had secured the house and begun investigating the property, they discovered that they had closed down the biggest gun running operation the island had ever seen. They found three buildings on the property that housed over 2,000 weapons from semi automatic assault rifles to surface to air missiles. The governor was so excited that she planned to give the entire team citations. Steve invited all four tactical teams and anyone else involved in the take down to his house for a huge BBQ. Significant others were invited as well. There would be beer and dancing and general rough housing. Kono understood why they needed to celebrate, but she was hoping for some alone time with Steve. Oh, well.

Steve was getting pretty good at reading her. His expression changed and he looked up at her apologetically.

"Kono, I'm sorry. This was your first day back at work and you look exhausted. I should never have invited all those people over."

"It's okay, Steve. It comes with the job. Besides, how do you know I don't want to do a little celebrating myself?"

"I know that you would celebrate not by partying, but by surfing, which you can't do for at least two more weeks. I also happen to know that you and I haven't seen each other all day and we won't get much alone time now that I've invited the entire island over. I'm sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you. I also want you to feel free not to play hostess, but to stretch out on one of my lounge chairs and just take it all in. Okay?"

"Okay."

They put their foreheads together and looked into each other's eyes. Once again someone cleared his throat. It was Danny.

"Chin and I are going to do the shopping for tonight. You take Kono home so she can rest for a bit and we will see you there."

"Danno, thanks man."

They arrived at the house around four, so Steve insisted Kono take a nap. No one was expected before six. Kono agreed as long as Steve would lay down with her. They climbed onto his bed and nestled in each other's arms. Steve had opened the window and allowed the sea breeze to blow gently in the window stirring the curtains. It mesmerized them both and they were asleep in no time. The two of them didn't stir again until they heard Danny and Chin sneak into the house.

"They are so cute. Dontcha think? They're so adorable at that age when they sleep."

"That's my cousin he has his arms wrapped around."

"Yeah, but they look good together. I say we leave them like this and let everyone from the party come and take a look."

"We can hear you, you know."

"Oops. Our bad."

Kono threw a pillow at them.

"Very funny. You better have lots of beer and food. Now get out of here and go start the grill. We're coming."

Steve leaned down to kiss Kono and hopped off the bed. She stretched and looked up at him with a big grin.

"I can wear a bikini again. No more bruises or ribs wrapped up. You better keep an eye on me mister."

"I'll have both eyes and two hands on you at all times if possible Miss Kalakaua. Now get your cute body up and put said bikini on. I've missed ogling you."

She walked past him unbuttoning her shirt as she went. Steve held his breath and groaned a warning.

"Kono…"

She glanced back over her shoulder innocently.

"What?"

He gave chase and smacked her on the bottom just before she slammed the bathroom door on him.

The turn out for the party was great. Steve was glad his nearest neighbor was several hundred yards away. There was a lot of noise and music and laughter. The stories of Steve's fight had reached epic proportions. The stories of the assault on the property had as well. The guys had earned it though. He was glad that no one on any team had been seriously wounded and only one guy had required a stay at the hospital. Thank God for Kevlar. Steve enjoyed manning the grill and Kono had taken his breath away when she came out of the house wearing his favorite turquoise bikini. She settled on a chaise lounge right beside the grill and watched him the entire night. When he would finish turning the meat, he would come and sit on the edge of the lounger and play with her hair or hold her hand. They smiled at each other all night.

Chin and Danny watched them from their spot on the wall surrounding his backyard.

"Man, they are gone."

"You can say that again."

"It's like they're in their own little world."

"Yeah, but it's nice, don't you think?"

"I do. It hasn't been easy for either one of them."

"It's so great to see my cousin truly happy again. When she had to leave competitive surfing, I didn't think she would ever smile again. Tonight she's glowing."

"Steve grieves for his dad. I know he does. We've had a few conversations in the car and I think he honestly had come to the conclusion that he would never be happy again either."

They clinked their bottles together and downed them. Derek walked over to where they were standing.

"I would never have had a chance with her, would I?"

"Nope." "Not a snowball's chance."

"Figures."

The party went on until way into the night and Steve had to put the last guy in a cab and send him home around three in the morning. Kono was asleep on the chaise lounge wearing one of his T-shirts. It completely swallowed her. Cute. Definitely cute. He gently slipped his arms underneath her and carried her into the house. Chin and Danny were each crashed on one of the sofas in his living room. Thank God neither one snored. Kono had snuggled under his chin and was sighing softly in her sleep. When he got to his bedroom, he didn't place her on the bed right away. He cuddled her to him. He relished holding her like this. He looked down at her and his heart was so full he felt himself tear up. When did he become such a softy? And how on earth did he get so lucky? When he was dating Catherine he never felt whole. It was like a piece of him was always missing. With Kono he didn't feel that way anymore. In fact, he finally felt complete with her in his life. He almost groaned at his lame reference to Jerry Maguire. He couldn't picture himself saying to her, "Kono, you complete me." How lame was he? He chuckled and Kono stirred. Her eyes fluttered and she looked up at him. She had the cutest voice when she was sleepy.

"Steve?"

"I didn't mean to wake you."

She reached up and cupped his cheek.

"Steve, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing. I just…love you."

"Steve…"

He settled her softly onto the bed, lay down and drew her close.

"Kono, I've never felt this way with anyone, ever. I don't want to scare you, but even though we've only been together for a month, I've known you for over a year. I…I don't want you to move out when you get the cast off in two weeks. I want to make our relationship permanent. I'm not asking you to just live with me Kono. I want to marry you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"How much did you have to drink?"

"Two beers. I was the cook. Remember? Kono I'm not kidding about this. I want to wake up to your face every morning. I want to snuggle with you every night. I want to kiss you while we eat cheerios in the morning and then drive in to work together. By the way, I love the fact that you love cheerios too. I want to cook dinner with you every night and go surfing together and some day soon I want to make love to you and have babies with you. I want to know everything about you. I want to know all your cute little quirks. Oh, and I want to keep catching the bad guys with you. I want you Kono, in my life, from now on. Am I being clear enough?"

Kono was having a hard time finding her voice. It finally came out in a whisper choked with emotion.

"Perfectly clear."

"Kono, I know you know this better than anyone, but when you found me that night at the beach, I was lost for the first time in my life I didn't have purpose. I'd lost my way. Losing my dad and then Catherine dying because of me using her like that. I wanted to die. I really did. But you were so earnest and so caring and I lost my heart to you that night. I can't ever imagine my life without you."

Steve buried his face in her neck and hair and held her close.

"It's so funny that you are the one giving me the credit for saving you, when you did the same for me. That night at the beach you found me too. I saw someone in front of me that hurt the same way I did. I saw someone who cared about what they had done. I saw a man I admired and respected. The fact that you were so affected by what happened is why I fell in love with you. And I am deeply in love with you in case you don't know that. You are so amazing. I have never felt so loved in my entire life. You've become my world Steve. I can't picture being away from you ever again. I want the same things you do. I want you to carry me to bed at night like you did tonight. I want you to wash my hair for me in the shower. I want to beat you to catch a wave."

Steve laughed and tickled her on that remark.

"I want to wash the jeep with you and spray you with the hose and have you chase me with a wet sponge. I want to have kids with you too. I can't wait to have a curly-haired little boy with your beautiful eyes and long lashes. I want to watch you play catch with him in the yard and chase him across the beach. I think you'll be an amazing father. I know this is going to sound corny, but you are the love of my life Steve. No one else could even come close to you. I want to marry you too. That is if you are really asking."

"Oh, I'm asking, only I plan to do it right with a ring and everything soon. I promise it will be so romantic, you'll faint before I can put the ring on."

"Did I mention that your ego is really cute sometimes?"

Steve gazed down into her eyes and smiled. The moonlight fell across the bed as he took her in his arms and kissed her deeply. It was the one kiss they would never forget. It held the promise of a life together and a love that would carry them through the years. Steve slipped his hand underneath the t-shirt she was wearing and stroked his hand across her smooth stomach. Kono's hand rested on his bare chest and she reveled in the ripple of his muscles. The kiss deepened and they caressed each other and whispered together until sleep claimed them both.

In the living room a voice whispered in the dark.

"Dibs on Best Man."

"Go to sleep Danny."

Author's Notes: That's all for now folks. I have a new story idea, but am still doing research to see if the concept is plausible. If so, I may start posting later this week. They are predicting snow for us, so I could have a couple of days to write to my heart's content if I don't have work. Once again, thank you for the reviews. They have been supportive and funny and delightful to read. You are all so faithful to leave them for me. It means a lot. I read them like a starved animal.


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